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United’s saviour: Tom Cleverley

454078856No, no he’s not. That was a lie. Though some might be cynical enough to believe that the headline was used as a crude ploy to draw in readers they will be categorically and absolutely correct.

Tom Cleverley is not the saviour of Manchester United, Tom Cleverley was the kid that promised much and delivered almost nothing.

It would be harsh to say that Tom shouldn’t be a footballer, but it wouldn’t be entirely unfair. Cleverley’s performances have bee so bad that he wouldn’t have looked out of place in the dismal display United produced against MK Dons in the Capital One Cup, where United where outclassed and embarrassed by the Buckinghamshire side. The daunting truth was that Tom, even though he didn’t feature for United, he wouldn’t even get into MK’s midfield.

It is alarming how long the midfielder has been at the club, especially when looking at his statistics. Last season on average he won 2.69 tackles per 90 minutes, in comparison to the much-vilified Marouane Fellaini who had a better, but still incredibly average 3.76 rate. That must mean his strength lies in going forward optimists cry as they desperately scramble for land while drowning in a sea of mediocrity.

As damning as the evidence in Operation Yew Tree, the statistics again show that in the previous season the midfielder scored one goal and provided zero assists in 17 league starts. Cleverley’s ineptitude was most obvious during last season’s away defeat at Stoke. During that match the 25 year old completed 31 out of 36 passes. United fans begin to lean forward, eyes widened and hearts racing in disbelief. All five of the passes he failed to complete were forward. All of those completed were backwards and sideways. Watching Tom try and pass forward is like watching Michael J. Fox play Jenga.

Even as the transfer window slammed shut Tom Cleverley was still fumbling around, getting in the way and struggling to do the simple thing and just move on. The struggle it has been to offload the midfielder is the perfect metaphor for his United career.

Similarly to the feeling of whenever Noel Edmonds stops staring into the camera and into my soul, United fans are now filled with relief to hear that Cleverley has now left the club, at least temporarily.

His loan move to Aston Villa may well be the best thing he’s done for United. Optimists can hope that it will improve him, playing on a stage where there’s less pressure and thus allow him to shine. Realists will know that he will find his level at Aston Villa and is most likely where he will end up. When he returns in January holding his macaroni painting and free balloon, hopefully the club will inform him that it wasn’t just a day trip but that is now where he belongs.

Some say Cleverley isn’t a bad footballer, rather an unfortunate young lad who’s been used as scapegoat. That might well be true, but while he might not be bad, Cleverley is surely an ineffective footballer and try to explain why he’s been so much of a passenger at United it’s almost impossible.

There are just so many reasons. It could be that watching him pass a football is as uncomfortable as letting Rolf Harris measure your inseam. Maybe it’s because seeing him inexplicably pull out of every challenge over the entire 90 minutes is more maddening than watching Nicholas Cage attempt to portray emotion.

Whatever it is, his future should not lie at this football club. And, unless his attitude changes, at any football club in the upper echelon of British football. But, anyway, good luck to him.

Will Dawson

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