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United sign new Rooney…

… we are of course talking of Wayne Rooney’s newborn son — who we haven’t really signed but we imagine will be tearing up the pitch in about two decades from now — Kai Rooney, born at Liverpool Women’s hospital.

According to the spokesman, “Mother and baby are both absolutely fine. Wayne and Coleen are thrilled with the wonderful addition to their family life.” We wish Rooney all the best as a daddy.

Also, the baby must have broken record of sorts as he gets his first fake twitter account within minutes of birth. So far, it’s funny as hell!

60 Comments

60 Comments

  1. [OPTI]Madschester United

    3 November 2009 at 08:00

    @Red Ranter: I NEVER said that he would take drugs… I merely used the drug connection to show that Aguero’s father-in-law and confidante (Maradona) has serious problems making the right decisions and yet is advising Aguero (at least on issues involving which clubs to go to). Whether he listens or not, we will not know until we see where he ends up.

    Goodnight, I am too tired to continue

    Goodnight. I am too tired to go on.

  2. New one

    3 November 2009 at 09:08

    @[OPTI]Madschester United:
    Fair comment, but I think we have enforcers or the equivalent in Fletcher and Hargreaves, it is in the creativity department where we fall short.
    By the way am all for English players which is apparently very controversial. Would love to see Ashley Young@United, wouldnt mind Lennon either. All in all things are not as bad as they seem until we lose again….

  3. Grognard

    3 November 2009 at 09:32

    @Aditya: No wonder Riquelme was dropped from the Argentina team. Maradona lacks so much professionalism in his managerial tenure. Everything with him is petty and personal. Christ how I despise that punk.

  4. Grognard

    3 November 2009 at 09:36

    @New one: I see your point about Carrick but I am willing to give him some more time. I have no problem with O’Shea because for me he is an ideal role player. It’s not his fault he is being continually used at a position that he is not great at. Yet, I do not feel he has ever really embarrassed himself anywhere that he plays. For me he is a versatile utility player and therefore very valuable. We can’t all be Ronaldo’s and Cantona’s. Finally you mention the positions where we need to improve in, but you give no names. I want to hear names mate. I want to know what players interest you. 😀

  5. Grognard

    3 November 2009 at 09:41

    @[OPTI]Madschester United: I’ll have you know that being one’s son in law does not ensure for a grand friendship or willingness to trust one another. In fact, I hated my father in law with a passion. He was a total cunt. I never let him influence me one bit. Apparently Aguero and Maradona have not been getting along for quite a while now. That for me shows good judgment on Aguero’s part.

  6. Grognard

    3 November 2009 at 09:43

    @New one: Seriously, I do not want to hear the name Hargreaves again until he has played ten games straight without complaining about injury. It is ludicrous to pin our midfield hopes on his return knowing the seriousness of his knee problems and the lack of success that athletes have in coming back from this affliction. There is a reason United want to offer Owen a pay as you play contract for the future.

  7. Onkar

    3 November 2009 at 10:10

    @[OPTI]Madschester United: You are too easy in your team players matey… Even though I am one those who are little opti about this season I would still be able give more than 5… To tell you frankly we all know that oldies are no longer part of it…. So, 4 of those are definitely out isn’t it????

  8. New one

    3 November 2009 at 10:38

    @Grognard: I aint denying the fact that O shea is an invaluble squad player, he has proved that over the years, but really now, United’s first choice right back? 😯
    Problem with O Shea is simple, he does not offer anything going forward!

    Okay, you wanted names..
    1. Luka Modric, play him in the right position(Behind two strikers) and he has the ability to orchestrate a beautiful symphony.
    2. United should have signed Alan Hutton, he could have developed in a great right back. Ideally Ramos would be nice but he cant defend all that well. And Maicon is not in the age group of players I would sign.
    So here your guess is as good as mine, but make no mistake, we need a right back!
    3. Goalkeeper: I dont want the next Peter, I want a Peter. Young promising goalkeepers?, well thats all they will ever be. We need a campaigned seasoner.
    4. Striker, Alan Shearer in his prime lol. Think we should have given Bent a look in, look at what he and Jones are doing and they really troubled us too, and we lost the plot when we didnt sign Huntelaar. He is a goal scorer, period!!!

  9. Onkar

    3 November 2009 at 11:18

    @New one: Grogys gonna love you… :mrgreen: .. You said it… The HUNTER right????? 😆 😆 😆

  10. Aparna

    6 November 2009 at 20:50

    @Red Ranter:
    Thats so funny…

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