In a mood to use internet jargon, as the kids these days are loath to use. As it turns out, the injury monster has pwned us (another term the young ‘uns use) and we look like the hospital in Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Or is this a scene from a Monty Python sketch?
Our injury list reads like so:
Wes Brown – hamstring
Nemanja Vidic – flu
Rio Ferdinand – out indefinitely due to a myriad list of recurring injuries
O’Shea – out till January; ankle, I think
Jonny Evans – out till January (calf)
Fabio – groin
Rafael – unknown injury
Wayne Rooney – hamstring
Dimitar Berbatov – knee
Gary Neville – calf/shin
Edwin Van Der Sar – knee, recovering.
Owen Hargreaves – returned to training, but prone to injury, best termed in this internet world as WTFitis.
Considering the diverse parts of the human anatomy afflicted, it’s safe to say, with the various joints/muscles/tissues mentioned, it’s possible to build one whole footballer.
This is the list so far. We will keep you posted if more players come under the influence of the injury monster — be it liquification of the brain, or anal warts. The monster must be guffawing like all evil monsters in B-grade horror flicks or, as the kids say these days, ROTFLing its arse off.
- Pogba admits he fell short of expectations at Manchester United
- Rashford and Martial doubtful for Manchester derby after missing training
- Roberto Carlos names two current Man United players he would like to play with
- Three Manchester United winners from the international break
- ‘He makes my game easier’ – Bruno Fernandes full of praise for Eriksen
- Diogo Dalot hoping for a new Man United contract with Europe’s elite clubs eyeing up transfer
- Manchester United midfielder gives verdict on Ronaldo’s performance after Portugal’s 1-0 defeat
- Ben Foster advises Jude Bellingham to join Manchester United
- Manchester United: Shaw and Ferdinand back Maguire after England horror show
- Cody Gakpo’s form could reignite interest from Manchester United in January