In a mood to use internet jargon, as the kids these days are loath to use. As it turns out, the injury monster has pwned us (another term the young ‘uns use) and we look like the hospital in Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. Or is this a scene from a Monty Python sketch?
Our injury list reads like so:
Wes Brown – hamstring
Nemanja Vidic – flu
Rio Ferdinand – out indefinitely due to a myriad list of recurring injuries
O’Shea – out till January; ankle, I think
Jonny Evans – out till January (calf)
Fabio – groin
Rafael – unknown injury
Wayne Rooney – hamstring
Dimitar Berbatov – knee
Gary Neville – calf/shin
Edwin Van Der Sar – knee, recovering.
Owen Hargreaves – returned to training, but prone to injury, best termed in this internet world as WTFitis.
Considering the diverse parts of the human anatomy afflicted, it’s safe to say, with the various joints/muscles/tissues mentioned, it’s possible to build one whole footballer.
This is the list so far. We will keep you posted if more players come under the influence of the injury monster — be it liquification of the brain, or anal warts. The monster must be guffawing like all evil monsters in B-grade horror flicks or, as the kids say these days, ROTFLing its arse off.
- 3 goals in last 4 meetings – Man Utd must be wary of Wilfried Zaha threat on Tuesday
- Barcelona manager Xavi picks Marcus Rashford as one of the most difficult players to stop
- Man Utd suffer big blow with Lisandro Martinez requiring fresh metatarsal surgery
- Man Utd interested in Bayern Munich centre-back Matthijs de Ligt
- Alejandro Garnacho should start against Galatasaray in the Champions League
- Erik ten Hag speaks on Marcus Rashford’s form after Crystal Palace loss
- Manchester United 0-1 Crystal Palace: Player ratings as the Red Devils suffer second successive Old Trafford loss in Premier League
- Confirmed Man Utd line-up vs Crystal Palace, Hojlund starts
- Lisandro Martinez may require second foot surgery, could be out until December
- Antony pictured arriving at Carrington after Man United approved return