So How Does One Define Tapping Up?

This comes fresh off the Madrid press. Well not fresh exactly but outrageous nonetheless. Ramon Calderon has again, not surprisingly, opened his mouth. Consider this from the Telegraph:

“[United and Ronaldo] will talk next week and if, after this conversation, United decide to sell him, then of course Madrid will be there. This is a problem that wasn’t created by Real Madrid. Madrid are just spectators in this soap opera. At the moment Manchester United and the player are in an argument and Madrid are waiting. Obviously, it’s clear that we want Cristiano with the quality that he has, but there is a contractual problem that United and the player have to resolve, not us.”

First of all Calderon seems to be able to tell whether United and Ronaldo will have another talk about his future despite Ferguson confirming a few weeks ago that he’s had a chat with Ronaldo. Another statement that he throws around as if it were fact is that United and Ronaldo are ‘having an argument’. Argument? I don’t know how that would go but I can take a shot.

Ronaldo: I would like to make my decision in a few weeks.
David Gill and Ferguson: Son, you are going nowhere.
Ronaldo: But I am yet to make a decision. Tomorrow you never know.
David Gill: Wrong. We know what will happen tomorrow. If you are alive tomorrow, you are a Manchester United player. If not, then well, you are dead and hence, a free agent. Your ghost would then blend well with the whites of Madrid.
Ronaldo: But er… God… my future… up to Him?
SAF: Save the God card for your player of the year awards, son. I am God here. And I say you’re staying. We are not having this discussion anymore. You can leave the hair dryer with the secretary on your way out and collect your hair gel from there — you could use some right now. [Slams door on way out of the room]

So I don’t see where the argument part comes from.

But all that is the least of what we should be concerned about. What we really need to ask is why, despite all the shenanigans, haven’t Real Madrid launched any bid and yet feel the need — like it was their divine right — to talk about Ronaldo all season?

And they compare this two faced twat to Alex Ferguson. The nerve!

But that’s not all, Mr. Two-Face goes on with this gem:

“Will he [Ronaldo] persuade the club to let him go? I can’t say that. That question is for the player, who has publicly said his dream is to play for Madrid. We hear those words with pride and satisfaction but his departure doesn’t only depend on Cristiano. United are the ones that have to sort it out and it will either happen or not.“

Well, thank you sir for giving us this privilege. Thanks for allowing us to have a say in sorting this out with Ronaldo. We shall be ever so grateful. As a mark of our gratitude, we’ll offer you Louis Saha for a cut-price £3m deal. Take it, he’s worth it. Every single balsa fragment.

Of course, all this will be done before you, sir, answer our simple question: How do you define tapping up? [Please answer without looking it up in your dictionary]

Meanwhile, the physio, who’s been giving the apple of everyone’s eye a nice gentle foot massage, has just managed to get his 15 seconds of fame, when he said Ronaldo is working real hard on his fitness to be back in two months.

Well, we can live with that.

And basically I can feel satisfied and end my rant for the day. I will keep you posted if something interesting shows up worth talking about. Till then, I shall leave the stage to you. Don’t forget that the fantasy league is still open for people interested to join. Details and prizes, click here.