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Slip slidin’ away, the neutrals’ favourite are in town

Gary-Neville-001This world has seen many atrocities. Natural disasters, genocides, chemical warfare, Kerry Katona. Each as upsetting and as mentally scarring as the last. Features of this existence that make many question whether it’s worth bringing children into this world. Only one event could single headedly overshadow these barbaric occurrences. Leaving them all to pale in significance.

Of course this humanity-destroying, hope-dissolving, prospect-disintegrating event would be Liverpool wining the Premier League title.

To draw comparison last season was similar to the Cuban Missile Crisis. The population stood still without drawing breath as Liverpool moved closer and closer to achieving a horrifying reality.

Not since tabloid newspapers published Ann Widdecombe’s holiday photos has the world seen such a total loss of hope and desire to live. As pundits continued to state that “the natural would love to see Liverpool win the league”, the masses swelled with terror and confusion.

Who were these neutrals? By neutrals did they mean pundits and by pundits did they mean ex-Liverpool players who have only been able to hide their shortcomings and drink problems through television punditry?

Thankfully God, Buddha, Taio Cruz, whoever you believe to be looking over us intervened with the most divine act. Knocking Steven Gerrard to the floor and ensuring Liverpool lost the title, leaving scenes of elation across the planet.

Though we must move on together from the tragedies of last season, we must never forget and on Sunday we must ensure that all possibilities of a reoccurrence are crushed beyond recognition.

Manchester United Team News

Now that most of the word count was used up on that overly elaborate introduction there is very little left to give details on the team. Basically some players are injured again. Smalling, Di Maria, Shaw and Blind are still missing, but Rafael should be back in the team.

Liverpool Team News

Mario Balotelli is still injured or could make a return, depending who you believe.

Key Men

With important goals against Chelsea, Hull and Southampton and an all round improvement to his performances it is clear that Robin Van Persie has defied critics and is emerging once again as United’s key man. If United are to win on Sunday the Dutchman will have to continue flying and throw himself head first into attacking the shambolic Liverpool defence.

A player that has probably been United’s best player this season deserves a mention. The little Spaniard that could, David De Gea has proven himself as a world-class goalkeeper.

Overlooked last season because of the awful results, now with the success of the team his performances are being noticed and the young shot-stopper is getting the plaudits he deserves. His strength and consistency will be key for ensuring victory.

Team Lineup


William Dawson