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Ronaldo’s going nowhere but are United back in for Lew?

167812885-1866888Mondays are traditionally coated in melancholy and today’s newspapers do very little to ease the blues on those of us who expected to begin the week by reading about David Moyes’ first big signing.

Let’s start with quash some expectations, as the Sun has finally pulled the plug on their farcical attempt at convincing everybody that Cristiano Ronaldo would return to Old Trafford this summer. After weeks of “exclusives” and “inside scoops”, the tabloid has given in, as has the Mail.

Real Madrid’s president Florentino Perez is quoted saying: “My aim, Cristiano’s aim and the aim of all Real Madrid fans is that he carries on playing here for many years to come.

“And when so many people want the same thing, then it usually turns out that way.

“There is nothing better than having the best player in the world in your team.”

For those who are still interested in entertain their dream of seeing the Portuguese back at Old Trafford in a red shirt, we politely suggest you head to where you’ll be given the opportunity to share your illusions with like minded Reds, as well the chance to actively contribute to Ronaldo’s return.

Ronaldo might not return but Robert Lewandowski could still arrive, or so the Telegraph and the Mail claim. The Dortmund striker had been largely expected to complete a move to rivals Bayern Munich but Dortmund’s president Hans-Joachin Watzke has issued a categorical “Nein” to the striker.

In an interview with Bild, Germany’s biggest sports paper, Watzke said: “Lewandowski will definitely not go to Bayern in 2013. This is final.”

The Telegraph believes that the Watzke decision’s could merely delay the inevitable – Lewandowski will be a free agent next summer – but it could also offer United an unexpected opportunity to land the Polish striker even though, considering Lewandowski’s desire to join Bayern, this scenario seems highly unlikely.

“We have been in agreement with the new club for some time now,” Lewandowski explained to Bild last week.

“I have informed the people in charge at Dortmund and I assume that all will now be cleared up and I can join the club of my wish this summer.”

Should Lewandowski change his mind and swap Bavaria for Manchester, the Telegraph believes it would pave the way for Wayne Rooney to leave the club, with PSG one of his possible destination as reported by that bible of reliability that is the Daily Star.

The tabloid quotes PSG’s captain Thiago Silva, who said: “I like Wayne Rooney agreat deal.”

“He is a great player, and every time I’ve come up against him, he has scored a goal. He often makes the difference.

“I would really love Rooney to sign for PSG – he would be a huge reinforcement for our club.”

United could be soon shopping in France, according to the Daily Mail, with the paper claiming that United are monitoring Monaco midfielder Nampalys Mendy. Mendy, rather precipitously nicknamed the “new Makelele” has told free-spending Monaco that he wants to leave as a free agent this summer and he’s keen to move to Manchester United.

Whether the interest is mutual remains to be seen.

Dan (@MUFC_dan87)