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Ronaldo’s career to end by February

I don’t normally obsess over ex-players but every now and then, one encounters opportunities that are just too good to pass up. Today there was one, courtesy the Daily Mail. The story runs thus: a witch doctor who was hired to put a hex on Ronaldo has said that Ronaldo’s career is going to end in about four months.

The voodoo attacker, who calls himself Pepe, insists it is no coincidence that the Real Madrid forward suffered an ankle injury days after the so-called curse came to light. And now he says there will be a further blow and that Ronaldo will ‘have to stop for two or three months, and then will come the final injury.

‘In four months maximum, he will never be able to play football,’ Pepe told Portuguese newspaper Correio da Manha.

Furthermore he claims a witch hired to counteract his powers will only make things worse because: ‘My magic is black and this will accelerate the process.

Go on, read the whole article. This weekend we’ve had a goal scored by a beach ball, and now, confirmation that there’s a war going on in black magic land, presumably in a parallel dimension (of Tolkienesque proportions) that decides the fate of the most expensive pair of legs in world football. I think I have seen everything there is left to see in football.

Filed as #7684, in the list of shit you just can’t make up.



  1. Taehr

    19 October 2009 at 11:02

    My word…. 😯 Well hes injured now so….would be a tragedy if hes career was ended by this pepe

  2. Matty

    19 October 2009 at 11:11

    This Pepe is a right weirdo, whats the point in making s**t like that up, talking about – even maybe hoping – that Ronaldo’s career is going to end.

  3. andsolskjaerhaswonit...

    19 October 2009 at 11:12

    Goodness me…What has this world come to.?? 🙁

  4. Taehr

    19 October 2009 at 11:32

    @Matty: Is he making this shit up…? lol after all Ronlado is injured and that dont happen to often…u never kno

  5. Footy4Eddy

    19 October 2009 at 11:48

    What the fjuck?! 😯 Is it the week of “Cant make this shit up?” 😆

  6. Lee

    19 October 2009 at 11:55

    Stranger things have happened. The comment by Sir Bobby Charlton of ‘Ronaldo will look back at his time at Manchester United as the best of his career’ may have strangely prophetic meaning.
    This sort of thing can not be truly mocked as we do not understand it.
    Ronaldo was NEVER injured for United…always fit to play were Fergie’s words.

  7. andsolskjaerhaswonit...

    19 October 2009 at 12:03

    I for one really think there is some truth in all this, 🙁 🙁 .Ronnie was hardly injured playing for us and now straightaway FOUR months..Strange.! 😥

  8. Onkar

    19 October 2009 at 12:27

    Fergie has been charged for improper conduct….

    A statement on the FA’s official website read: “Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has been charged with improper conduct.
    “The charge relates to media comments made by Ferguson about referee Alan Wiley following United’s match against Sunderland at Old Trafford on 3 October.”

  9. Jay wire

    19 October 2009 at 13:14

    Why should the FA not do some introspection of its own? Yes Fergie should be punished but at the same time they have the most incompetent group of referees together with their African Nations Cup counterparts. But they probably take the price. The English game is full of so called “hard tacklers” who constantly foul players but nothing is given. It’s not a good place for skillful players. Palacios should have seen red before the 1st half ended for his assaults on Berba at White Hart Lane. The “goal” at the Stadium of Light should have been disallowed. It was so basic football rules. Outside interference and the game should be stopped immediately. Tbh the goal that Kenwyne Jones scored against us was a clear foul on Foster. I mean how many wrong calls for offside do we get in a season. Extreme levels of incompetence. That’s why it was an English ref that caused so much commotion at the last World Cup. They should start looking at those things and clean up their house. If it’s poor training or simply employing the wrong ppl I don’t know

  10. Onkar

    19 October 2009 at 13:36

    @Jay wire: Its simple bro… Its important that you should clean your house first before talking about cleaning the system as a whole….
    But, unfortunately it seems like those nuts running FA are not aware of this simple things….. Its a common sense things which is not so common for them… May be….

  11. Jay wire

    19 October 2009 at 16:14

    This is worrying for this site. Or maybe ppl are just no longer interested in football as per United’s current performance. It’s so so so dry. Maybe falsehoods should be published. Like one morning “Valencia agree to Silva January transfer in principle”.

  12. Grognard

    19 October 2009 at 17:50

    My roots come from a culture (Greek) that even though they are deeply Christian Orthodox and believe in that, there are remnants of Ancient Greece in the thinking of many. There is the hypocrisy that exists where they believe in old myths like curses yet they still believe in in Christ. Curses evolved well before Christianity and one of the first thing’s Christ did in his teachings was to try to get people to disavow their old ideas and myths and to follow his lead. Well it has not worked entirely because there are still millions around the globe who believe in curses like the evil eye etc. Rubbish, Bollocks and BS is what it is. And those of us who believe in such things need to get our selves checked in to an asylum for therapy. It amazes me that in this technologically advanced world we live in today, that so many still fall back on gypsy and peasant beliefs like this. 🙄 😆 😆

  13. gator

    19 October 2009 at 18:51

    only way to break the curse?…

    come back to united and paris hilton… in that order 😎

  14. Stret-Head

    23 October 2009 at 11:56

    Random I know but I found this site which you decide who the best player and XI to have played in the Prem for United ever. Its called, stupidly addictive but not a sniff of Ronaldo in site.

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