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Man Utd v Tottenham: Carling Cup Final Preview

Roman Pavlyuchenko made some very strange remarks. Very, very strangely timed remarks indeed. Either the import of his remarks may have been lost in translation (the quotes attributed to him clearly seem from someone with a reasonable command of the Queen’s language), or he needs to be coached on the benefits of good PR. Or, perhaps, he’s another victim of, what I call, a feeder-club complex.

‘Now, what is that?’, you may ask. That, gentle reader, is a condition which afflicts players who feel they are too big for their club and aspire to be among a higher level of footballing fraternity. In recent times, it’s become a way of life in Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. They’ve been feeding the likes of Arsenal, Liverpool and, more specifically, Manchester United. We thank them profusely for Michael Carrick and Dimitar Berbatov. But I wouldn’t be too excited over Roman Pavlyuchenko.

Flippancy aside, I would be particularly concerned about the type of comments the Russian had made if I were a Tottenham fan — thank heavens I am not.

“It would be wrong not to dream about this. I have realised that the English Premier League is exactly why you should start playing football in the first place. And Manchester United is the leader of it. Once your first dream comes true you must start dreaming of another target.”

Er, it would never be wrong of you to be dreaming about anything. But opening your mouth ahead of a Carling Cup final feels about as right as George Bush expounding the nuances of quantum physics. He also goes on about how Dimitar Berbatov was arrogant, at which point, I ascertained his head might be well close to his rectal cavities and realised I’d already made up my mind on what I think of him. Twat!

Anyway we must move on to things of greater significance here because, this match, as you must have all by now known, is a must win for us: it’s our door to qualifying for the UEFA Cup (or the Europa Cup). And considering it’s one tournament Fergie’s never entered with this lot, I suppose this game will be like a cup final for us.


Tottenham are the defending champions of this trophy, although their squad has seen 1,678,953 changes in personnel ever since. So maybe, there’s our chance in nicking it from their grasp.

I think we’ll start as underdogs, because injury to Rafael and Fergie deciding to give Gibson and Welbeck a chance will surely make Spurs a much stronger side. Surely they’ll teach our side a footballing lesson?


Prediction: 2-0 to United.

PS: fingers firmly crossed lest cocky nature of above post jinx our beloved side.