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Man Utd Stories of the Day

Good Morning people (or Good Evening depending on what part of the world you are reading this from), let’s look at some of the news stories that are doing the rounds this morning as well as yesterday before we bring you a preview of the last league game of the season against the Hammers. So let’s get this out of the way, shall we?

1. To start with, some speculation here as, via the Guardian, the Mirror screams out linking Tevez with United (again). But going by various other reports, he seems to have given a few weeks off to his English tutor, opening up possibilities of being linked with Sevilla, Milan and whichever club that seems easy for an average reporter to type, without looking at his keyboard. So there you go. Don’t worry we will revisit this bit many more times over the summer.

2. The PM of Malaysia has now rubbed AFC the wrong way by announcing that the Man Utd tour to Malaysia will go as planned. Now that’s another tedious piece of news we’ll have to get by. I mean, why in the hell do they want to go there in the first place. Only when you begin to feel happy that there is one flight less, the squad have to catch when the PM throws a bombshell. (Are the elections round the corner down there?) Seriously, if you ask me, a bigger money spinner this year would have been a tour to the US. A game with the LA Galaxy, and a reunion with Becks would be a rather explosive affair, I assure you.

3. Fergie has probably given up on Saha and Neville appearing for the FA Cup final. He seems slightly more optimistic about Neville making it than he is with Saha. Now I’m sure your average fan could be excused if he wonders what really is up with this guy. But I suspect the workings of some extraterrestrial worm implanted in his groin/hamstring/calf/balls that manages to nick some muscle every time he appears to get better. How about taking him to Dr. House’s clinic to fix him once and for all. Although all that will be unlikely given SAF seems to be losing faith in his fitness by the passing day.

4. The Sir has also revealed that he was offered Tevez and Mascherano earlier this season but turned it down because he found it dodgy. Hmm. Don’t have much to say, except smart work Fergie, you have saved the club 5.5 million quid. But who would agree to buy a player when he would be owned by a shady corporation.

5. While Saha has told the French paper L’Equipe that he intends to stay on at Old Trafford. He loves it here, he says. Nice attitude Mr Saha, I must admit, but get rid of that extraterrestrial worm I mentioned earlier, would you? Visit Dr. House. Trust me he is very good.

And that I believe, is that, although if anything interesting comes up during the day we will update this post. So watch this space.

Up next: A preview of the Hammers game.