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Easter Island Head To Arsenal: Funniest. Transfer. Ever.

So everyone knows this by now. It’s not an April fool’s joke because, well, it’s not April. It’s cold hard truth.

Excuse me for a moment.


Ahem. Ok.

Now I don’t know what’s so funny but I can’t help but laugh at this transfer. Mikael Silvestre has passed up on a chance to get a testimonial next season and the chance to leave on a free to favour a move to Arsenal. So he will move from playing for the United reserves, to sitting on the Arsenal bench — which is an upgrade. You can’t blame him for that, really. Also I’d be shocked if he got a testimonial.

As a player, he’s always made my heart skip a beat with the ball at his feet. His terrible marking in a corner where he let Gallas score the opening goal for Chelsea in that puke inducing 3-0 hammering at Stamford Bridge in the 05/06 season remains fresh in the head. I can’t fault his attitude toward the club though. And I am fairly certain tears wouldn’t be shed at this move anyway.

But two things were laugh worthy. First, the Gooner reaction. Just yesterday, when they got wind of the Silvestre deal being an imminent possibility, Arseblogger (of Arseblog) had this to say:

I have these strange and weird dreams that make no kind of sense to me at all. Vivid motion picture dreams but at the same time I’m convinced that I’m not asleep. It’s all terribly confusing. I mean, last night I dreamt that we were about to sign Mikael Silvestre from Manchester United.

The fish-faced, Freddie Ljungberg head-butting cunt from Manchester United. I must be eating too much cheese before bed time. Still, it’s good to have a cup of coffee in front of me, open up my browser and check the morning news to get a good, healthy dose of reality.


I’m really not sure how to feel about this. On one hand Silvestre is an experienced defender, he’s won titles, played many times for France and would provide better cover at left back than Armand Traore who could then go out on loan and get experience. On the other hand he’s a poxy fucking cunt who can’t seem to close his mouth. Why would we want to sign a player who can’t close his mouth? Many of his injury problems at United have come from swallowing insects as he runs along with his big open gob. I mean, look at him. He was once out for three months when a bee went right down his throat like Luke Skywalker’s bomb in the first Star Wars and stung him on the Adam’s Apple.

Read that piece. It’s hilarious, and in between the hilarity, it reveals the conflict many Arsenal fans will feel about this signing.

The second laugh worthy bit is Arsene Wenger’s thoughts on Silly:

“We have a strong squad but a young squad and Mikaël’s versatility, experience and calibre will provide the extra depth we need to reinforce our challenge for honours this season. His defensive adaptability will serve us well and it’s a big plus that Mikaël has top-level experience and a great understanding of football in the Premier League.”

He actually said all that about Silvestre with a straight face.

Seriously though, he will add some depth to their squad. Good for them. I will bid good bye to him.

Meanwhile Wes Brown expressed shock at Silly’s move. Also, apparently, with a straight face.

In other news, everyone is carrying Berbatov signs for United in their headlines in the hope that they get a little bit of the Newsnow action — when, in reality, he signed an autograph on a Manchester United shirt. Cheeky stuff.

And that’s about it for the day. Oh, and England drew luckily for them and I can’t give a toss to be honest.